I am 30 and have been married for three years. My husband is a great guy, but I think I may have married the wrong person. Our sex life is not great (for me at least) and he’s pressuring me to have a baby but I don’t want to have a child and then get divorced. I don’t know if I would ever find anyone who would take better care of me or who would be a better dad, but I don’t know if I can put my other feelings aside for the rest of my life. Should I get out now (it would probably kill him if I asked for a divorce) or should I resign myself to spending the rest of my life with a decent, hard-working, kind guy who just doesn’t ring my bell?
Wow. This is a tough one and I certainly think of you in high regard for reaching out to talk about it before making a decision. Since you are married now, this (as I’m sure you realize) is not a decision to take lightly. Some people say, “Well if it doesn’t work out, I’ll just get a divorce.” But I, personally, am a firm believer in making it work– IF you can. Which brings me to my first point – have you taken all of the necessary steps to figure out why this marriage isn’t working for you, and if there is a way to make it work? For example: