By Kate Richlin-Zack
For anyone who’s ever tried it, you know exactly what I mean when I say long distance relationships suck.
Even with advances in modern technology, geography will challenge the strength of your relationship—not to mention your internet connection—when you’re physically separated. People give you tips on how to make it work: schedule Skype dates or phone calls, send each other text messages or emails throughout the day. Blah blah blah. It’s a load of crap. Living apart and spending every third weekend together is not sustainable. Skype and Whatsapp are not adequate substitutes for physical intimacy.
To put it simply, long distance relationships don’t work; either someone moves or you break up. Let’s leave the financial burden of travelling aside for the sake of argument because airline tickets alone are enough to make you bankrupt. If you’re trying to do an international long distance relationship, hopefully your boyfriend is the Sultan of Brunei because I don’t know how the average person can afford to fly halfway across the world on a consistent basis. But like I said, let’s leave the financial aspect out of this because I would like to believe, however naively, that true love conquers all.
Let’s start with the logistics. There’s a lot of planning and coordinating schedules: time off from work, booking airfare, whose turn is it to travel. And the packing, which may be the absolute worst part, because of course you’re going to forget something stupid but essential. Like the stilettos that go perfectly with the cocktail dress you plan to wear to dinner on Saturday and I guarantee you there are no Louboutin outlets or even a Payless wherever your boyfriend lives because his current job relocated him to Bumblefuck and modern conveniences like strip malls and chain retail stores are reserved for civilization. Every last detail needs to be planned. The ability to just stop by his place on your way home from work is nonexistent. There are no last minute spontaneous plans. You can not, under any circumstances “play it by ear.” Physically you are trying to be in two places at once which means emotionally you’re also in two places at once.