Tagged with friendships …

Aug 02 2012
1 Comment
Real Kates

Dear Kate: My friend got me a terrible wedding present and knows I returned it!

Dear-Kate-column-identityBy Katharine Luckinbill

Dear Kate,

A very good friend bought me a very bad wedding present. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I didn’t want it — so I returned it to the store on the down low. The registry manager there assured me that the refund would be sent directly to me and that my friend would not know I returned the gift. Two weeks later and I call to find out where my refund is … and guess who they sent it to?! I have no idea what to say if my friend asks. Especially since in my “Thank You” note I told her how much I loved it! Kate, I’m in a pickle! What do I do?

Bride, Caught Red-Handed

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Dear Caught-Red-Handed Bride,

The most embarrassing of all gifting situations has come down upon you. I do not envy you sister! This is a toughie, as you don’t want to offend your friend for life, but you also want to make the most of your wedding presents, I’m sure.

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Jun 14 2012
2 Comments
Real Kates, Relationships

Dear Kate: Asking a friend for help, and asking your significant other for a little romance once in a while

By Katharine Luckinbill

Dear Kate,

I have a favor to ask a friend that I haven’t spoken to in a while. I’m totally not one of those people that only connects with someone when I need something. This particular friend and I just got too busy, I guess, and now she’s the only contact I know to help me. Do you think it’s wrong for me to write to her and ask?

Sincerely,
Not a Mooch
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Dear Not a Mooch,

Here’s the thing – we have ALL done it. Networking is a natural part of our culture, and anyone who says they’ve never wanted to reconnect with an acquaintance when they need to network is lying. Facebook, Words with Friends, Instagram, Twitter, TV, Tivo, and everything else that keeps us connected and ready for the week’s water cooler gossip can also distract us all day long. It’s hard to find time to keep in touch with EVERYONE these days. (Especially now that, these days, more people than ever are in our lives.) Our pop-tarted, microwaved, instantly connected culture was supposed to free up more of our time—and somehow we all ended up busier and more overwhelmed.

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May 31 2012
6 Comments
Real Kates, Relationships

Dear Kate: How to deal with an attention seeking friend

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By Katharine Luckinbill

Dear Kate,

One of my close friends is always writing attention seeking things on Facebook and it’s becoming extremely obnoxious. In so many ways she is a great friend; she’s always there for me when I need her, she’s extremely loyal, and she makes an effort to be a good friend and go above and beyond the call of duty. Yet I just cannot seem to get past this flaw. She has so many things going for her in her life and really no reason to be sad or unhappy and yet nearly every day there’s a status saying something like, “Just wishing tomorrow will be better.” How do I talk to my friend about this, or better yet — have the personal strength to ignore it and let it roll off my back so that I can enjoy the things about her that I actually like?

Annoyed in Anaheim

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Dear Annoyed in Anaheim,

You and me both, sister! “VagueBooking,” as I harrumphingly refer to it, is one of the most annoying things trending on the Internet these days. (See: harumph, and also: Vaguebooking.) I think if people walked into work each day and said to their coworkers, “I just can’t bear it anymore,” they would most certainly be brought immediately to human resources for a psychological evaluation, and mandatory “vacation.” Yet, on Facebook, it calls out to all the other attention seekers to respond with as many “Oh no, what’s wrong? Call me!”’s as you can possibly imagine. I’m just as sick of it as you are.

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May 24 2012
2 Comments
Real Kates, Relationships

Dear Kate: My close friend wants to skip my wedding

By Katharine Luckinbill

Dear Kate,

I’m getting married in just over a month. As you can imagine, my fiance and I are busy prepping and are excited for the big day! Almost everyone we hoped to attend will be there, but as these things go, we did get some regrets. While I’m bummed that certain friends and family members won’t be with us, they all had legitimate reasons for not coming and so I certainly understand.

Then yesterday I got a call from a very good friend of mine who told me that she is no longer able to attend because she scheduled a business meeting out of state the day after my wedding. She apologized but explained that “this was just the best time schedule-wise.” In complete shock and not sure how to respond, I told her I understood, but to be honest, I just can’t comprehend how she could miss my wedding. Plus, from our conversation, it seems as if there are other options for her to make both my wedding and the meeting.

We live in the same city (which is the same city the wedding will take place) and she wants to get together soon. I’m just so upset I’m really not sure I can. Do I share my feelings with her or should I just let it go and pretend like nothing ever happened?

Bummed Out Bride

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Dear Bummed Out Bride,

Doesn’t planning stuff just suck? No matter how hard you try to make it easy and convenient for everyone involved, it just never seems to work out the way we want. I can only imagine (and will someday know) how magnified that would be when it comes to your wedding. So I’m sure its a huge bummer having to deal with that particular part of your special day.

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