Tagged with cohabitating

Kate’s Dates: Kate’s Dates: Why living together before getting married isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, Part 2

Kate's Dates: On CohabitationBy Kate Richlin-Zack

Last week we covered the worst case scenario when it comes to cohabitating: it doesn’t work out and you ultimately break up. In short, it’s a mess. I strongly advise against it.

But what about the best case scenario? Let’s say it DOES work out…

Let’s say the two of you have every intention of spending the rest of your lives together and even the Psychic Friends Network is predicting happily ever after. Then what? Should you move in before you’re officially engaged or married? I still say NO.

Based on my own experience, I personally think it’s not worth it for reasons that didn’t occur to me until it was too late. When my now-husband-then-boyfriend-not-yet-fiancé discussed moving in together, I was hesitant even though I knew for certain that getting married was a matter of “when” not “if” for us. I had been down this road before—you remember all the crying, vomiting, and stealthy escape planning, so you can understand why I’d be gun shy. Even after living through the worst possible cohabitating scenario and fully understanding what I could possibly be getting myself into, my husband made a great case with all those pesky “advantages.” I figured, “This time it’s different. This relationship is going to work out, so maybe he’s right and it DOESN’T make sense NOT to live together.”

Wrong.

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Kate’s Dates: Why living together before getting married isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, Part 1

Kate's Dates: On CohabitatingBy Kate Richlin-Zack

You meet a great guy. You start dating. At first you’re seeing each other once or twice a week and after a month it’s up to three or four. You start having sleepovers and pretty soon there’s “the toothbrush discussion.” Then one day you wake up and can’t remember the last time you actually slept at your own place; it’s just an expensive unkempt storage unit and you have the dust bunnies and dead plants to prove it.

Considering that you spend almost all of your time at your boyfriend’s place, moving in together is just easier. And there are some pretty logical advantages:

  • Convenience—we were already spending so much time together, logistically it doesn’t make sense to keep living out of an overnight bag most of the time.
  • Financial—what’s the sense in paying double the rent? I spend all my time at his place while all of my worldly possessions are housed in another. It’s fiscally irresponsible not to live together!
  • The Spouse Audition—what better way to see if we’re truly compatible than to live together. If we can’t live together, then I’ll know for sure that our relationship wasn’t meant to be. Besides, playing house is going to be fun!

Downsides? What downsides? This sounds like a perfect plan! And if it doesn’t work, we can always just move out.

Not so fast…

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , ,
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox

Join other followers: