My CompliKAITed Life: On Apartment Warfare

By Katilin Marie

Remember the good, old college dorm days, when neighbors would bicker and snap at eachother over music volume, squeaky mattress springs (or loud moaning), and perpetually beeping alarm clocks? I was naively under the impression that once I’d moved out of the dorms, I would be finished with the passive agressive arguing over a shared space. But I was wrong. So wrong.

My apartment situation can only be described as unique. I live in one of 5 apartments in a massive, 200 year old house. I’m in apartment #4 and I share the upstairs hallway area with apartments #3 and #5. I also share a thermostat with apartment #5. This wouldn’t be a big deal, except apartment #5 is occupied by a Crazy Lady.

Some info about Crazy Lady:

  • She is in her 50s or 60s
  • She does not appear to have a job
  • I have never seen her wearing outside clothes. She only wears nightdresses and pajama shorts.
  • She seems to spend the majority of her time talking on the phone
  • I suspect she may be a hoarder (as evidenced by the glimpse I caught of floor-to-ceiling stacks of newspapers in her apartment)

When I first moved into my apartment in June, I allowed my landlady to set my thermostat, which is thankfully in my apartment, to her desired temperature and I did not touch it. This did not stop Crazy Lady from leaving a series of passive aggressive notes taped to my door, in which she chastised me for “turning off the AC when I leave” and “keeping the temperature too high.” I eventually mentioned this to my landlady’s daughter and the notes stopped.

For the past several months, Crazy Lady (henceforth referred to as CL) and I coexisted peacefully.  That is, up until a few weeks ago.

The War Begins

Now, in addition to her alleged hoarding ways, CL has created an odd little display of items in the hallway outside of her door. This display (which was there when I moved in) consists of a small bookcase piled with odd books (Catholicism for Dummies, for example), random odds&ends, a Teddy bear, empty cat litter tubs, and, most recently, an enormous Yankee candle. Which she likes to leave lit. In the HALLWAY.

ACTUAL PHOTO

The first time I came home for lunch in the middle of the day and saw an unattended candle burning in the hallway, I blew it out without much thought because FIRE HAZARD. That evening when I arrived home from work, the offending candle had been removed. In its place, another candle of equal size but different scent was burning cheerfully. I assume CL must have thought my objection was to the pine scent and not due to a fear of firey demise. I blew this candle out as well.

The following morning I was greeted by a different scented candle, leading me to ponder just HOW MANY CANDLES this lady had. I extinguished this candle too.  Later that night, I was waiting for my mom to pick me up so we could go out to dinner, so when a musical knock sounded at my door, I didn’t even bother to check the peep hole before I answered my door.

It was not my mom who was waiting for me. It was Crazy Lady, and she told me she had a Christmas gift for me: A brand new “Christmas Eve” scented Yankee candle.  She explained that she liked to give all of her neighbors gifts for the holidays, but I knew what this gesture really meant.

Yes, Kate-book readers. CL had given me a Guilt Candle.

For the next few days, I came home to find CL’s candles unlit, but the hall still hung heavy with fragrance. She was just waiting for me to leave before burning them. And then on Saturday, she left an eye-wateringly strong scented candle burning with a note beside it that said “Please do not blow this out. I am checking on it every 10 minutes.” The putrid scent permeated my entire living room and gave me and my boyfriend major headaches. We left her candle alone, but my boyfriend noted, “A fire doubles in size every minute, so it would be 10x bigger by the time she finally checked on it.”

Final Thoughts

I’m planning on discussing this weird, passive-agressive candle warfare with my landlady today when I pay my rent. I’m curious what you guys think about this whole situation.

Was I over-stepping my boundaries by blowing out CL’s candles?

Is it unfair for her to treat the public hallway space as her own personal area?

I was loathe to confront her face-to-face on this issue because I think she’s kind of nuts. However, I am VERY concerned about my apartment burning down since it’s the place where I keep ALL OF MY SHIT. Also, I leave my cat there during the day, and I worry about her.

What do you guys think?

My CompliKAITed Life is a column by Kaitlin Marie running on Kate-book.com every other Wednesday at noon. You can read all about Kaitlin’s Zombie Apocalypse plans on her blog Zombies4breakfast.com. Oh, and follow her on Twitter here or on Pinterest here. She pins obsessively.

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7 thoughts on “My CompliKAITed Life: On Apartment Warfare

  1. margie blank says:

    Don’t even need to think about it. The candle must go, far to dangerous.

  2. Kate S. says:

    I’m thinking “Renter’s Insurance”! You might want to invest if you haven’t already. And maybe leave a window open a hair so that if kitty needs to escape, she’s got her route. The candle issue is definitely a hazard, and worth a discussion. But maybe also be prepared to move. It doesn’t sound like this situation is going to end well. Please keep us posted.

  3. Catherine says:

    My apartment building has a Crazy Lady, too…even the super avoids her, so I have no words of wisdom. Good luck!

  4. Kaitlin Marie says:

    Kate S: I DEFINTELY have renters’ insurance already!

    General update: spoke to my landlady last night. She’s an adorable 87 year old woman and rarely walks up the stairs to the second level because she has bad knees. She was EXTREMELY upset with Crazy Lady for doing something so blatanly stupid. “You’d think she was born in the barn!” was the phrase my landlady used.

    She was dialing Crazy Lady’s number when I left last night.

    :)

  5. Fabri-Kate says:

    Regardless of the scent, which was not your issue to begin with, she’s creating a fire hazard with both the lit candle, and the pile of personal crap in a common hallway. As for the Christmas Eve scented guilt candle, you should have handed it back to her and told her you don’t celebrate Christmas – or maybe you could gift her a robe to cover up her pajama collection. Good luck and keep us posted!

  6. Kate S. says:

    LOL! That is so funny… born in a barn! Ha!

    Glad to know the renters’ insurance is in effect. It’s amazing how many people don’t know about it and it so super cheap!

    So have the candles and other paraphernalia gone away?

  7. Kaitlin Marie says:

    Hey ladies! Another update for you:

    Since speaking to my landlady, CL has not lit her candle, as far as I can tell. HOWEVER, the candle is still out in the hallway, with all her other crap. I doubt she will ever move that stuff out of the hallway. It’s been there ever since I moved in.

    Still, I’m just thrilled to pieces that she’s stopped with the candle-lighting for now. I’ll continue to keep an eye on it!

    :)

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