Dear Kate: I’m Single in NYC and I hate Valentine’s Day. What should I do to make it less annoying to be alone tonight?

Dear-Kate-column-identityBy Katharine Luckinbill

Dear Kate,

I am single, I live in New York City and Valentine’s Day is the only day of the year that I hate this city. What do I do to avoid the awful crowds of kissing couples everywhere I go this year? If I see one more stuffed bear and chocolate rose I’m going to throw up on someone.


Out of Love Lucy


Dear Our of Love Lucy,

Girl. I hear ya. Even though I have now joined the hoards of vomit-inducing love couples – I was single for a very long time before that and every year I dreaded Valentine’s Day. It seemed like everyone I knew was married, engaged, had a boyfriend or already had a date. I found myself thinking, “How is this possible? Where do they all find each other? Am I the only single person left in the WORLD?”

Of course I wasn’t, there were droves of other Valentine’s singles brooding about the holiday the same as I was. There was also another group, a group I hadn’t yet been introduced to, the “I Hate Valentine’s Day So Let’s All Get Together and Party” party. This bunch was awesome. A whole other mindset and approach towards this Hallmark holiday.

So awesome, in fact, that there are now super events organized all around the city just for them!

Here are some ideas for how to spend your Valentine’s Day in the big city without a date:

1. Yelp’s annual Anti-Valentine’s Day Party:

2. New York Magazine’s Top Twelve anti-Valentine events

3. The Daily News’ take on a avoiding the PDA

4. Plus Hipster Blog, Refinery 29’s take on making this holiday for the singles out there:

5. Should you be looking for love, this new map shows the ratio of single men to women in NYC. You can also check out the full article from the Village Voice blog here 

Singles Map


6. Lastly – if you’re feeling especially bold – try OKCupid’s “Crazy Blind Date” app where you can plug in your availability and find a date, any day, any time. The Huff Post writes tells more about it here

If going out and celebrating being single and independent doesn’t appeal to you AT ALL. You can always stay home with your awesome self and take a bubble bath.

Go out and splurge on some high quality bath salts, bubbles, candles, and a good book. Run yourself a hot bath. {Go here for some of my personal favorite bath products} Pour yourself a glass of wine. Light the candles and read a book, or put on some tunes you love. Hell – watch a movie on Netflix on your iPad. Just relax and have some you time. Turn your cell phone off – let the boys wonder where you are


Whatever you choose to do, don’t sweat the fact that today is about couples. It’s only about them if you choose to see it that way. Find a date if you want, or be your own Valentine. You’re the best Valentine for you anyway. If only it were as nice to rub our own feet…but hey, that’s what a good spa pedicure is for!

And please always refer to this tumblr (see below curtesy of #whatshouldwecallme) or this blog make you feel better always. Literally always.


Some girls:


Will you be my Valentine?




Dear Kate is a column that runs on every other Thursday at noon. It is written by the wise Katharine Luckinbill, who you should follow on Twitter. Got a life, friendship, family, dating, or relationship question that you’d like Dear Kate to answer? Send it to and she will help you out!

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2 thoughts on “Dear Kate: I’m Single in NYC and I hate Valentine’s Day. What should I do to make it less annoying to be alone tonight?

  1. Kate Richlin-Zack says:

    I try to avoid using my iPad when I’m drinking in the bathtub. I’ve been known to drop things.

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