Posted in February 2012

Kate’s Dates: Some genius “financial advice” for dating

Kate's DatesBy Kate Richlin-Zack

It’s not what you’re thinking. This week’s column has nothing to do with who should pay for dinner. I’m also not advocating being a gold digger or a trophy wife—although there are definitely some days when I fantasize about being a kept woman who spends her time lunching with girlfriends after our morning pilates class and then going to the spa for deep tissue massages before we head off to Saks for an afternoon of shopping … Wait, why am I working again?

But back to my point. My husband and I have been discussing our finances recently. While the tips we’ve gotten along the way have been helpful financially, I couldn’t help but notice some pretty strong corollaries with dating. These tips are so logical, it takes all the romance out of the dating process.

Then again, who needs romance when you can maintain your sanity and the contents of your wallet simultaneously, right?

Tip #1: Diversify your portfolio.

Any good financial advisor will tell you “diversify your portfolio,” meaning you should invest in a variety of stocks and bonds because you will minimize your risk and maximize your return. The same holds true for dating. I lost count of the number of times my mother has said to me, “don’t put all your eggs in one basket,” and I’m sure you have too. When it comes to finding a relationship, your best bet is to find a few different seemingly promising options, invest a little in each, and track their performance until you identify the one solid long-term investment that has consistent growth and stability.

So instead of dating anybody … try dating EVERYBODY.

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What is oyster-tecture, you ask? Kate Orff answers.

As we speak, the TED2012 conference is going down in Long Beach, California. In honor of the annual event, during which a variety of fascinating speakers are given 18 minutes or less to express a big idea they believe could make major waves in the world, let’s talk a look at another TEDTalk given by a Kate.

Architect Kate Orff, who spoke at the TEDWomen conference in 2010, is all about oyster-tecture. Meaning, she’s inspired by how oysters settle land, how they filter the water they live in, and how form together to make reefs that can shift, and even reduce, waves.

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Kate Upton’s spot for Carl’s Jr. is super over-the-top

Wow, I feel kinda dirty after watching Kate Upton‘s newly released ad for burger chain Carl’s Jr. The spot, called “Drive-In,” shows Upton at a drive-in movie theater pulling a Southwest Patty Melt out of Carl’s Jr. bag — yes, directly, because apparently a wrapper would just take too long. She subsequently begins to sweat, strip off a high percentage of her clothes, and writhe in the backseat of her car as a fellow movie-goer gawks. In other words, it’s just like real life!

I guess I can’t be too shocked by the overt sexuality here, as the ad’s creative director boasted earlier this month that Upton was “the hottest girl we’ve ever worked with.” Still, this feels just a little over-the-top.

Note to Carl’s Jr. executives: if we have to go this super sexy burger-eating route, how about throwing a guy in the mix every now and then?

Second note: It’s really annoying to type the possessive of your brand name — Carl’s Jr.’s — so how about losing that apostrophe?

Check out a behind-the-scenes video after the jump.

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Kate of the Week: Katie Herzog the artist, librarian, and Guerrilla Girl enthusiast

There are so many fascinating Kates out there. Every week, is resolving to introduce you to a new one. About a month ago, I profiled one Katie Herzog of Durham, North Carolina. Soon after, a reader tip alerted me to the fact that there’s another awesome Katie Herzog out there, an artist and librarian in California. So this week, I would like you to meet Katie Herzog, 32, of Glassell Park, Los Angeles. Without further ado, 13 questions with Katie.

1. What do you do?

I make art and work part-time as an assistant librarian. I was recently appointed Director of the Molesworth Institute, which has been dedicated to the proliferation of library humor and disjunctive librarianship since 1956. Last summer I attended Cycling for Libraries, the first international library “unconference” on wheels, and painted bike jerseys with Molesworth Institute quotes on the back I gleaned from Norman Steven’s book, “Archives of Library Research from the Molesworth Institute.” Quotes include “We find the library world, like the real world, impossible to understand on a rational basis,” and “Freedom From Information.” The jerseys are currently on display at the Palo Alto Research Center, where I have a solo exhibition up through March 30th, 2012. Please stop by if you’re in the South Bay! It’s open to the public M-F 8am – 5pm. Or you can check out installation shots of the show here.

2. How did you become a librarian/artist?

My first job was at Klutz Press. I tripped on the entranceway and was hired on the spot, no joke. I worked with a very nice man named Davey in the shipping department in a warehouse full of rubber chickens, juggling paraphernalia, aerobies, and yo-yos, which were attached to the spiral binding of books. Klutz later published the infamous “Encyclopedia of Immaturity.” I attribute my recent work in experimental lexicography, ebook charcuterie, and bottom shelf conceptualism to this influence.

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Kate Middleton: footwear design judge and paper doll muse

Kate Middleton is at the center of two choose-your-own fashion adventures this week.

First, the Duchess of Cambridge will be judging a shoe design competition for six lucky footwear design students at De Montfort University. According to People, each student has created a pair of shoes especially for Middleton. When she visits the university alongside Queen Elizabeth on March 8, Middleton will pick her favorite of the bunch and take them home with her to wear. Like, out in public.

The shoewear designers are of course pumped for the opportunity to have Middleton wear one of their designs. Their kicks appear to have very disparate inspirations. While one student says they’re  using Prince William’s coat of arms as a jumping off point, another is making the footwear version of Middleton’s engagement ring. Yet another student says her shoes feature “daisies and pink leather.” Because that’s what princesses are made of?

While Middleton will be choosing her own footwear for this contest, a new book of paper dolls lets normal folks do the picking for her.

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Obsessed with: Katy Perry’s Kate Winslet-inspired blue hair

Katy Perry's blue hair is half Anna Wintour, half Kate Winslet in "Eternal Sunshine"Almost a month after first being spotted with blueberry hued hair, Katy Perry has explained her eccentric yet sleek dye choice. The star tells Women’s Wear Daily that her hair is the middle ground between two disparate inspirations—Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour’s sophisticated bob, and Kate Winslet’s haphazard mess of blue curls in the film “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.”

“I was trying to find a happy medium between crazy and mature,” explains Perry.

Alternate theory: Perry voiced Smurfette in last summer’s reboot of “The Smurfs,” and thus still has blue on the brain. That, or she found a way to externalize feeling blue over her split with Russell Brand.

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9 Kates who’ve gone naked in magazines

In March, newsstands will boast two covers featuring famous Kates in their birthday suits. First, Kate Walsh of “Private Practice” stripped down for the cover of Shape magazine, saying “I was terrified, but I really wanted to do a naked cover.” Next, model-of-the-moment Kate Upton took her clothes off for a Marilyn Monroe-inspired cover for Muse magazine.

Not every celebrity out there has the cojones to take it all off for magazine spread. This got me thinking—do people named Kate especially enjoy doing nude photo shoots? After some careful investigation, I believe that this theory might actually hold some water. Here, nine famous Kates who’ve modeled sans clothes for magazine spreads. Click on the thumbnails to look through the images, and read on after the jump to find out the story of each shot.

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The Week in Kate: The news I didn’t get to covering this week

Katrina DarlingAnd now, your weekly roundup of the Kate-related stories I just didn’t get a chance to write about, thanks to the fact that life is busy.

  • Kate Middleton’s cousin, burlesque dancer Katrina Darling (left), will be bringing her saucy moves to New York City in March. She’ll apparently be dancing to “God Save the Queen.” [Page Six]
  • Speaking of Middleton, the International Fur Trade Federation tried to use her as a celebrity endorser this week, by posting a picture of her in a fur-lined coat. PETA freaked. But turns out, the fur was actually fake. [The Frisky]
  • Reese Witherspoon admits that she so nervous to meet Middleton that she tried on six outfits for the occasion. Reese, you look fine! [People]
  • Katie Hall, the Indiana congresswoman who pushed for Martin Luther King Jr. Day, has died at 73. Sad. [NY Times]
  • Kate Gosselin tells Dr. Drew that she is “so lonely” and is worried that no guy will want to date her with 8 kids. To that, I say: sorry, but duh. [People]
  • Kate Bosworth and her boyfriend Michael Polish headed to an event honoring the 40th anniversary of Charlie Chaplin’s honorary Oscar. Without moustaches! For shame. [Just Jared]
  • You guys aren’t going to believe this, but sometimes Katherine Heigl doesn’t wear makeup. [Daily Mail]
  • Katy Perry has been spotted on a military base in fatigues. MTV believes that she may be shooting the video for “Part of Me.” [MTV]

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Kate Upton takes off clothes, channels Marilyn Monroe for Muse Magazine

Kate Upton Muse CoverApparently, Kates really like posing for magazines in the buff. Kate Walsh took it all off for the cover of Shape earlier this week. Now it’s Kate Upton‘s turn. The 19-year-old model appears nude on the new cover of Muse Magazine, an Italian “Fashionart” publication—though, let’s be honest, she’s not wearing that much less than on her Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover. This cover is a re-creation of Marilyn Monroe’s so-called “Last Sitting,” which was shot in 1962 by Bert Stern, six week’s before the actress’ death. With her blonde hair teased high, Upton rolls around in a bed with white sheets, posing flirtily for photographer Sebastian Faena.

Basically, Muse’s cover image is very, very close to the one of Lindsay Lohan that appeared on the front of New York Magazine and lead to an instant crash of the publication’s website—as both shots are based on the same source material. Still, I think it’s a pretty good choice to use Upton in this way, as the blonde looks shockingly Monroe in real life. Not only does Upton’s face shape, coloring, beauty mark, pert nose, and full lips recall Monroe, but she also has that ditzy-though-maybe-smarter-than-you-think vibe that Monroe perfected. Upton drips sex appeal, but with that same knowing cluelessness.

Honestly, I think it’s Upton’s Marilyn likeness that has led the fashion world to disdain her.

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Music Break: Everything you ever wanted to know about “Shimmy Like My Sister Kate”

Last week, I stumbled upon a spread in the New York Times T Style Magazine titled “Shimmer Like Sister Kate.” Cool, I thought, while making a mental note to post the opening image on this site. But, uh, what does that mean?

As I started doing internet research, it became clear that the headline was a play on the title of a song, “I Wish I Could Shimmy Like My Sister Kate.” As promised, today I bring you the story of said song.

While the jazzy ditty was originally published in 1915 by Clarence Williams and Armand Piron, the real originator of the song appears to be Louis Armstrong, who played a similar tune about one of New Orleans’ most notorious madams, Kate Townsend. Townsend operated a brothel at No. 40 Basin Street, and was stabbed by her lover during a fight sometime in the 1880s. The case captured the attention of the city because of its lurid details.

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Kate Beckinsale thinks she’d be ‘boring’ if she quit smoking. Au contraire.

Kate Beckinsale smokingKate Beckinsale was caught this week smoking a cigarette just moments after taking a whiff of a nasal spray. Apparently, Beckinsale is the kind of smoker who lights up even when she has a cold—and that’s usually a bad sign.

Beckinsale recently talked to the Daily Mail about her smoking habit. Apparently, she started puffing when she was 16-years-old and has only quit once, when she was pregnant with her daughter and had to. Here is why Beckinsale believes she can’t quit:

“I’d be insufferable if I didn’t smoke. You’d have to push me off a balcony I’d be so boring.”

This reminds me of a friend who tried to reason to me a few years ago that she couldn’t quit because, “I always meet guys on smoke breaks. It’s the easiest way to strike up a conversation: ‘Can I have a light?’ How will I ever meet anyone if I quit?”

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Kate Bosworth rocks an owl sweater

Kate Bosworth at Burberry showSo, I am absolutely loving this ensemble that Kate Bosworth wore to the Burberry show at London Fashion Week yesterday. I love how cozy the sweater and the knit skirt look together. I adore the cute details of the crazy owl, the velvet bow, and the clutch bag. I am obsessed with the nonchalance of her hair. However, I think the shoes are, well, totally hideous.

That said, I just showed this photo to a friend — and she hates the sweater, the skirt, the belt, the bag and the hair and finds the shoes the least offensive part of this look. Diff’rent strokes for diff’rent folks?

What do you think?

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